Postcrossing Favorites for December

This month's favorite postcards received via Postcrossing.com* addressed four of my favorite things: food, cats, China, and random weirdness.

Remnants of a paella feast from Barcelona

via Asiya in Austria

Cute kittens in hats 

from Tuula in Finland

Vintage photo of a crowd of Chinese people 

from Francoise in China

This card notes that in 1949 when the People's Republic of China was founded, the Chinese population was about 450 million. Today, it has surpassed 1.3 billion.

Chrstiane from Dusseldorf explained this card's joke: 

"In German, rock = skirt and scooter = roller."

(See http://myturntodayyourstomorrow-cheryl.blogspot.com/2010/07/postcrossing.html for more information about Postcrossing.com.)

My Psychic Stalker, Part VIII "The Clam"

The final message from Chris began with a bit of flattery: 
"I have been told that you are a person with a big heart and with a very sensitive personality that very few can understand. Because of that you have the gift of foresight even if you are not using it."

He didn't resist the temptation to remind me once again what I was missing...
"Let me emphasize the importance of this reminder because you can never have the same chance in the same place twice. Do you really want to miss out on love, or even miss a jackpot ? NO, of course not!"

...and deliver a mild scolding:   "But instead of grabbing my hand, you choose to stay alone in your shell."

"You have arrived at a turning point in your life. Now is the time to act. Now is the time to take the hand I hold out to you. Do not clam up. Do not hide in your shell. I really don’t understand. You have reached a moment in your life of unparallelled importance."


You are right, Chris. After a month of your flattery, cajoling, nagging, and rhetorical manipulation, I have reached a moment of importance. 

"So, Cheryl, can you make this promise to me? That you will you now choose to put an end to all your problems?"  

Yes, Chris, I promise. Although I cannot put an end to all of my problems, I can put an end to one of them. 


My hand closes around the mouse. The cursor hovers over the DELETE command.   Goodbye Chris, I whisper.

Click.

My Psychic Stalker, Part VII "Ultimatum"

 Gone now were the terms of endearment. Chris' next message got brusquely down to business:

"Cheryl, you need a plan, a map. I spent much time calculating all the possible paths of your future. Using my psychic ability, tarot reading and astrology, I saw that these paths converge towards a future of great happiness, but only if you know when to make decisions and which one." 

He no longer addressed me as a friend or possible lover, but instead informed me that we had a professional relationship:

"You need a personal coach. You need someone who watches over you and knows what you need to do to achieve success. You can trust me like you would trust your doctor. Cheryl, I have the knowledge and the power to guide you to better horizons."

Just in case I missed it in his previous messages, he reminded me of his fame and of how honored I should feel to be his chosen one.

"I receive thousands of requests for help everyday. People crowd in front of my office begging for my help. Yet it is to you that I have given my time. Why? Because I was deeply moved by your personal case. I have a burning desire to help you and I spend long hours each day analyzing your personal situation, sometimes at the expense of people who, unlike you, trust me."

Still, I detected a discrepancy in Chris' argument. He seemed to be trying to appeal to the rational adult in me and to my emotional child at the same time.

"I do not ask you to take my word like a child, but I ask you to check it for yourself as a responsible adult. Like thousands of people before you who have found this happiness just because they took a leap of faith and trusted me."

Sorry, Chris. I don't think you can have it both ways.

Then, Chris turned petulant:

"In fact, I do not understand your attitude. I do not understand why you have not yet responded. I take it as a lack of attention from you. If you would have answered me like I was begging, you'd be able to perform miracles in your life. I am not being dramatic, but truly this situation will not last too long."

Well, actually, Chris, you are being pretty dramatic. "Perform miracles?" Really?


Finally, he issued his ultimatum:

"Everything will get better when you finally accept my help. And for that you must answer today."

At last, we were down to the nitty-gritty. After weeks of emotional push-me-pull-you, here it was. Would I give in and accept Chris as my coach, advisor, and Master of Divination, or would I pass up this opportunity for ever-lasting happiness and good fortune?

Zzzzz....

Cheryl?  Cheryl, are you there?  Cheryl, answer me!

As I still have not received any answer from you, I did not want you to miss out on the benefits of the astral energies generated now, when Venus, Jupiter and the Moon are trined. I did this action for you. I hope you do not mind I did this for you for free.

I feel that your mind is in the fog these days and that your hesitations are playing tricks on you.

I am seriously wondering if you received my last message? Because if so, I must admit that it worries me. Honestly, I do not understand why you do not answer. 

Your silence is not a good sign: you have doubts about your future. Honestly, I'm here to help you and if you are right now in a dark place, it is precisely the time to react!

Chris!  I'm in a dark place because it's 2 a.m. Now, shut the f---  up and let me go back to sleep!

My Psychic Stalker, Part VI "Heaven's Casino"

Now that my blockages were removed, I felt reprieved. Chris and I were back on a friendly footing, and--as usual--he peppered me with emails. 

His concern this time was my financial situation, but now, he went all mystical on me. Chris seemed obsessed with magic and its convergence with money.
He wrote:
"I coupled my energies with yours, concentrated on your name, and pulled a tarot card to discover what today would hold for you. I pulled the best card of the tarot cards: the WHEEL OF FORTUNE upright. This card shows Luck with a capital L." 
(I guess that's why he spelled "luck" with a capital L.)

"Cheryl,tonight I'll be able to create for you a spiritual action that should bring you good luck and prosperity falling on you like rain! It's no coincidence that you contacted me during this time in your life. It is truly a sign from the heavens."


Well, I didn't exactly see how the heavens were going to rain money on me, but hey--I'm not a Master of Divination like Chris. 


And, time was a-wastin'.
"You have only a few hours before receiving the most powerful celestial influences for prosperity in your life. Here is what I will do for you tonight. First, be aware that this action of cosmic magic can only be achieved by Psychic Masters like me."  
Yeah, yeah, we know, Chris. You're special.

"I will prepare my altar on which I will burn perfumes and magic incense. Then I will recite the the Heavenly Call of Fortune incantations for you, and place on the altar a scroll that I designate for you."
Perfumes? Magic incense? Incantations? Altar? 
Oh, Chris, you loony bird! 


But, tell, tell: what's on the scroll?
"At the precise time of this great conjunction in your birth sky, I will recite the supernatural words that will then be transferred spiritually to this magical scroll." 

Oh,'scuse me, the MAGICAL scroll.
"When the ceremony is over, I will scan the scroll and send it by email to you. When you open my email, you will find the instructions to make your magic scroll a fantastic lucky charm. You must print your magical scroll. You will have to use it as I will explain, especially about playing the lottery."


WHOA! How did we get from altar to lottery? Just when the vibe is all transcendent, you want me to run down to the 7-11 and buy a lottery ticket? Are we in a church or a casino?
As if sensing my confusion, Chris explained: "Large sums are at stake as I foresee the coming days will be rich in emotion and fortune. Your magic scroll will help you greatly to get what you want."


But here was the catch:
"Cheryl,for such an intervention, I usually ask $250.00 dollars. However, as I feel deeply and personally attached to you, I ask only $29 dollars to cover the cost of the items I must purchase to perform this ritual correctly. For heaven's sake, listen to the voice of reason and the voice of providence and answer me!"

Nah, Chris, I think I'll pass. If I'm going to spend $29, it's going to be on lottery tickets, not on a crummy emailed scroll.