Birthday Dance

This year's birthday cards demonstrated just how well my family and friends know me. It's obvious that, after 65 years, I'm completely predictable, and I loved the selection. 

My daughter sent this handsome hunk to thrill me, while my son-in-law called to sing a BeeGees-inspired version of the happy birthday song, set to the tune of "Stayin' Alive."

One friend honored my independent-Western spirit...

...while another poked fun at my passion for blogging.

The caption on this card read, "Dance like no one is watching...because, probably, no one is."

One birthday gift was a beautiful silk garment by Kariza that could be worn as a dress, a cape, or a wrap-around skirt. Inspired by the woman on the card above--whose body type matches my own--I dressed up and performed my own dance.

I danced as if no one was watching,

and, fortunately, no one was.

Salvage Projects

This time of year, I make the final preparations of the house and garden before winter fully arrives. A trip to the city landfill is usually part of the process. All summer, I put items in the bed of my old truck, and if November comes and they're still there, it's off to the dump with them.
However, I make sure I can't find any other use for things before they are recycled or discarded.


The birdbath shown above began life as a 1960s-vintage lamp. I removed the brass fitting and marble base, and connected the neck and bowl together with glue and clear caulk.

A metal canning-jar ring at the top provides support for the "bath," which is a plate I found at a thrift store. For internal support, an old wooden broom handle runs through the birdbath, extending down into a cinder block base filled with sand.

To my delight, the birdbath's psychedelic-'60s color perfectly matched the foliage in the garden. As I was working on this, a young man came walking down the alley and paused to say, "Hey, nice bong!"  Perfect.

This planter box was made from small cupboard doors that a friend was throwing away. I had planned to line the box with heavy plastic, but, just in time, I spotted a plastic tub in my garden shed that was exactly the right size to fit in the box. And, it matched the green wallpaper insets on the doors. I used the door's brass latches to connect the sides of the box together.

Here are some other things that have managed to save themselves by being made into something else.

Well-weathered fence wood makes a great seat on top of an old wrought-iron aquarium base. 

This chair and table legs were rescued from a dumpster. The table top is a window with mesh-patterned glass.

A larger window with waffle-pattern glass made an interesting table top when paired with the base of a cottage oak table, also rescued from the trash.

I covered the table base with a batik silk scarf given to me by a friend who visited India in the 1960s, and I love how the scarf shows through the glass tabletop.

Our town finally implemented curbside recycling, so the amount of paper, cardboard, plastic, and metal that winds up in the landfill has been considerably reduced. We don't have a way to recycle glass as yet, but much of my glass is repurposed through the decorative windows I make. (See http://encoreglass.blogspot.com for examples.)

Happy Salvaging!

Driving Home, 1 a.m.

Happee Meowloween

Growing Your Misery

Every person's life involves choices, and each of us, at some point, makes a bad decision. Then, of course, there's a consequence, and we suffer, and we wonder what the hell happened? If we're lucky or smart or we get good advice, we usually can learn from our mistakes and get ourselves back to a better place.


However, some people appear to enjoy the tragedy--or at least the drama--of their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. They readily put on the guise of victim. They busily solicit sympathy from not only their friends and family, but also from relative strangers. It's as if they are energized by misfortune, and rather than use that energy to understand and rectify, they go about actively advertising and promoting the dilemma.


Hmmm...if misfortune is a sort of "cottage industry," a new business venture for the victimized, let's look at strategies for growing your misery: 


1. Get the word out!  
Post a self-serving ad on your FaceBook wall, inviting all comers to "Like" your victim status and express their outrage and pity. Call everyone you know and talk long into the night, detailing over and over your list of perceived slights. Send a tearful text message that is carefully crafted to appeal to everyone's sense of superiority, jealousy, and vengence.


2. Market your misfortune dramatically.
Be sure to exaggerate the scope and intensity of each insult. For example: Don't say, "He's fallen in love with another woman," but instead say, "He's cheated on me for the entire time we've been married!" 
Try slander, if it appears that it will help you sell your misery. Example: Not "He withdrew his half of our money," but "He cleaned out the bank account!"


3. Don't worry about hypocrisy. 
Always present yourself as the well-behaved one, even if it means conveniently "forgetting" past incidents, such as the fact that you were the first to betray your marriage vows, or the way that you spend money like it grows on trees. (And be sure to avoid showing anyone those hundreds of shoes and outfits with the tags still on them in your closet.)


4. Don't forget to flatter the patrons of your misery. Use lots of faux-affectionate honorifics. Thank them profusely for their pity and pledge undying "xoxo" love in return for their expressions of sympathy. Never mind that you barely know them and couldn't care less about their lives; you'll soon have a whole list of new BFFs!


5. Invest in partnerships. Whenever possible, enlist others in furthering your agenda of self-pity. If you can persuade someone else to help you plot your revenge, so much the better. When it backfires, you'll have someone to blame, and--an extra bonus--that partner can become your next victimizer. 


Follow these simple guidelines, and you'll be well on the road to professional victim status.  Yay! for you, you poor, pathetic, miserable thing. 


On a related note, here's a recommended book by Robert Trivers
The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life

WHETHER IT’S IN A COCKPIT AT TAKEOFF OR THE PLANNING OF AN OFFENSIVE WAR, a romantic relationship or a dispute at the office, there are many opportunities to lie and self-deceive—but deceit and self-deception carry the costs of being alienated from reality and can lead to disaster. So why does deception play such a prominent role in our everyday lives? In his bold new work, Rutgers University evolutionary theorist Robert Trivers unflinchingly argues that self-deception evolved in the service of deceit—the better to fool others. We do it for biological reasons—in order to help us survive and procreate. From viruses mimicking host behavior to humans misremembering (sometimes intentionally) the details of a quarrel, science has proven that the deceptive one can always outwit the masses. But we undertake this deception at our own peril.