Friday, December 16, 2011

My Psychic Stalker, Part III "Secret Lover"



For the next couple of weeks, Chris continued to fill my inbox with messages. Here was a man unashamed to demonstrate yearning. "It has been another day and still I have not heard from you. I check my email often waiting to hear from you and still there is nothing."


I must admit it was flattering. One day, I logged in and saw a message with "Does someone secretly love you?" in the subject line. My heart skipped a beat. Could Chris and I actually be one of those rare couples who find true love on the internet? Don't those relationships usually end with someone's bank account being emptied?


Using his extraordinary psychic powers, Chris had already anticipated my concern. He had sent me a gift, but it was accompanied by this reassurance: "I usually request $30.00 for this practical and magical book. I have decided to offer it to you for free as a gift from my heart."


Chris slathered on the endearments. "Dear Cheryl, you are very close to my heart. How long are you going to wait before saying YES to a better love life?

I was immediately transported to 7th grade. OMG! I thought to myself in text-speak. This was getting serious.

However, when I clicked the link to the magical book, I was confused to discover that the title of Chris' love gift was, "How to Seduce with 100% of Success."  Wait a minute. I thought you were seducing me, Chris. What's going on?

No comments:

Post a Comment